As I mentioned in my last post God will take things away as quickly as He gives them to you. He will many times give you what you've been asking Him for to test you, to see how you react once you have it, and if you can't handle it right He'll take it away I thank God he took soccer, money, and friends away from my life as they were all harming me in one way or another. Anyways in this post I plan on talking about, family, love and forgiveness in a way that they all tie together.
A question often asked is "Why do we hurt those who love us the most?". Well why do we? Why do we hurt our family, our closest friends, and our loved ones, and treat them as if our relationships with them had no meaning sometimes? I think the answer comes down too as we grow up we do things opposed to what our parents say, example don't jump on the bed we do and anger them, once they get angry we ask for forgiveness and it is given to us. Same thing with God people ask God for forgiveness and He grants it to you. That's why I think first of all God's love is so under appreciated. Since it's an unconditional love, one you don't work for it's not so appealing since you can have it "whenever" and since if you hurt it you feel you can walk all over it...you get what I'm saying? Same thing comes into play with our families they tell us not to do something we still do it, because we no to a certain extent at the end of the day they'll forgive us and things will go back to normal. With these two types of love being used as our foundation as the first loves we know. It causes us to have that mindset, I'm not saying it gives it a reasonable excuse what I'm saying is maybe that's why we hurt that girlfriend/boyfriend/best friend that we all have, cause sometimes were accustomed to having that infinite love from a loved one that no matter what they forgive you. I know I sure was accustomed to it, and thought I could basically get away with anything. But I've learned just cause someone loves you doesn't give you the right to hurt them, that is why usually when you first meet someone that you like you try to make sure you do things right, for that persons feelings can grow, and they begin to trust you. Once you feel you have enough of their love, you likely feel inclined to be able to do things, and have no repercussions if you say your sorry. But that's not how things work, and you should never picture them like that....Im gonna end this post here, just cause I feel like I'm going to keep ranting & I'm tired I've had a long day, I have to be up early tomorrow for my class, and need this sleep. Basically Love God, Love your family, Love those who treat you well and Love you for you. Don't take things for granted thank God for what you got.
God Bless!!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I'm back...
This is definitely one of the longest in between posts I've had, and for that I apologize. I just want to say that it hit me. So many things hit my mind during this absence of blogging. I seriously don't know where to start but I guess I'll try and start from where I left off.
So I basically left my last post by saying I was going to make 2011 a big year, on my own, and be productive to start off I honestly wasn't. Just reading the last paragraph I remember the person and thought process I once had, and what my thought process is now...Amazing how about 75 days or so can alter your mind set. You see this all goes back to when I was in high school, I was close to God and in obedience with my parents, and doing things under Gods wisdom. He promised me in the bible I will give you more than you dream about, I dreamed about realistically at the time to get a full scholarship to a division 1 program in the country. God blessed me with a professional soccer contract! What a blessing right?? See the things with blessings is how you use them, I used mine incorrectly. I thought once I signed that contract I could do things on my own, and it made me believe so more, when girls put me on a pedastool, I had money for a kid my age, had a nice whip, and basically was "living a dream". But as old saying goes, easy come easy go. And just like that my dream was snatched away from me a year and a half in. When your being paid bi weekly for playing, not really working you think money will never stop coming in. You think girls will never stop calling, you think friends will not stop inviting you to clubs, you think all these things. But just as quickly as they came when you were what you felt was on top, they leave even quicker. Friends abandon you, girls won't call as much or anymore, money is at short, and all those things that you used to think filled you up, really leave you empty and thinking "Damn I wasted my time". But see time is never wasted, when you sleep your body is recovering so there a plus in that time "wasting" period, sort of a silver lining so to speak. So what's the silver lining on this one, is that I learned and realized I can't do things in my own strength, and people are as fake as they seem. I'm blessed to have learned these personal experiences at the ripe young age of 20.
So to be straight up about my soccer career, I can't really blame anyone but myself this is the first time I publicly take this blame. I spent more time partying then training, I spent more time kicking it with girls, then kicking balls, I spent more time learning about Miami's nightlife & girls then about learning the game of soccer. I let all those things get to me, and that's a recipe for failure and it proved it self when it happened. I don't regret it, cause I think sometimes you need to fail to realize certain things, and only with failure would I have been able to realize these things.
My relationship with God has grown immensly over the past month. I have gone to a spiritual retreat, participated in bible study groups, testimonial speakings', and a decipleship. I'm so blessed to have so many people that truly just simply care for me as a person, not for the person I am or my personal status. I just really have to thank my family, and friends who have supported me through my tough times.
Where I'm at now? Living back at home in Miami kicking it..Training really hard on my own in hopes of a second opportunity from God to play professional soccer, I tried simply training with my former team Miami FC now known as Fort Lauderdale Strikers, and they denied me. I was quite shocked to be honest, but that's fine. I love doubters, and trust in God 100% that he'll play me once I'm ready. I don't plan on living a double life anymore, as in doing drugs, then looking down upon those that do it, partying so often, looking for girls, sex, and that type of nightlife fun as an outlet. I will instead look to God for that now. I'm also finally enrolled in university it's being paid for and I'm currently attending Keiser University but it's a pretty expensive private university and I plan on switching schools. I tried seeing if I can go back to NCAA to play soccer, but unfortunately I can't, although I can still play in NIAA I don't think I will. I'm studying for a business administrator degree, in hopes of getting that and taking over the family business which I've spoken so highly of. That pretty much wraps it up, I'd like to thank those who have continued to stay in my life through my tough times, and didn't perish, and for those who are moving with me to a better future. I'm blessed in such a large amount that I've never even counted that high. I love you God, and thank you all for reading sorry for my hiatus, I'm back and will hopefully be regularly blogging AT LEAST once a week. By the way I haven't proofread this so sorry for any mistakes in advance!
-God bless!
So I basically left my last post by saying I was going to make 2011 a big year, on my own, and be productive to start off I honestly wasn't. Just reading the last paragraph I remember the person and thought process I once had, and what my thought process is now...Amazing how about 75 days or so can alter your mind set. You see this all goes back to when I was in high school, I was close to God and in obedience with my parents, and doing things under Gods wisdom. He promised me in the bible I will give you more than you dream about, I dreamed about realistically at the time to get a full scholarship to a division 1 program in the country. God blessed me with a professional soccer contract! What a blessing right?? See the things with blessings is how you use them, I used mine incorrectly. I thought once I signed that contract I could do things on my own, and it made me believe so more, when girls put me on a pedastool, I had money for a kid my age, had a nice whip, and basically was "living a dream". But as old saying goes, easy come easy go. And just like that my dream was snatched away from me a year and a half in. When your being paid bi weekly for playing, not really working you think money will never stop coming in. You think girls will never stop calling, you think friends will not stop inviting you to clubs, you think all these things. But just as quickly as they came when you were what you felt was on top, they leave even quicker. Friends abandon you, girls won't call as much or anymore, money is at short, and all those things that you used to think filled you up, really leave you empty and thinking "Damn I wasted my time". But see time is never wasted, when you sleep your body is recovering so there a plus in that time "wasting" period, sort of a silver lining so to speak. So what's the silver lining on this one, is that I learned and realized I can't do things in my own strength, and people are as fake as they seem. I'm blessed to have learned these personal experiences at the ripe young age of 20.
So to be straight up about my soccer career, I can't really blame anyone but myself this is the first time I publicly take this blame. I spent more time partying then training, I spent more time kicking it with girls, then kicking balls, I spent more time learning about Miami's nightlife & girls then about learning the game of soccer. I let all those things get to me, and that's a recipe for failure and it proved it self when it happened. I don't regret it, cause I think sometimes you need to fail to realize certain things, and only with failure would I have been able to realize these things.
My relationship with God has grown immensly over the past month. I have gone to a spiritual retreat, participated in bible study groups, testimonial speakings', and a decipleship. I'm so blessed to have so many people that truly just simply care for me as a person, not for the person I am or my personal status. I just really have to thank my family, and friends who have supported me through my tough times.
Where I'm at now? Living back at home in Miami kicking it..Training really hard on my own in hopes of a second opportunity from God to play professional soccer, I tried simply training with my former team Miami FC now known as Fort Lauderdale Strikers, and they denied me. I was quite shocked to be honest, but that's fine. I love doubters, and trust in God 100% that he'll play me once I'm ready. I don't plan on living a double life anymore, as in doing drugs, then looking down upon those that do it, partying so often, looking for girls, sex, and that type of nightlife fun as an outlet. I will instead look to God for that now. I'm also finally enrolled in university it's being paid for and I'm currently attending Keiser University but it's a pretty expensive private university and I plan on switching schools. I tried seeing if I can go back to NCAA to play soccer, but unfortunately I can't, although I can still play in NIAA I don't think I will. I'm studying for a business administrator degree, in hopes of getting that and taking over the family business which I've spoken so highly of. That pretty much wraps it up, I'd like to thank those who have continued to stay in my life through my tough times, and didn't perish, and for those who are moving with me to a better future. I'm blessed in such a large amount that I've never even counted that high. I love you God, and thank you all for reading sorry for my hiatus, I'm back and will hopefully be regularly blogging AT LEAST once a week. By the way I haven't proofread this so sorry for any mistakes in advance!
-God bless!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Defeated or Realization..
Damn..Thursday Jan 6th my first day of back to training. They took us basically to a mountainside very high up, alright soccer fields with one of the most beautiful overhead views of a beach I've ever seen. I wish I could've taken picture of it. Anyways I was off to my first training session with Barranquilla FC (2nd division team Junior is the owner of them as well) I don't know why they told me to train with them, but I'm willing to train wherever they tell me. Anyways it started out well some warming up, movement, stretching some short passes, long passes mixed up. Then we played a 90 minute match.......For the first time in my very short 18 month career I have never felt that I couldn't keep up. It finally caught up to me, the partying, the going out, the kicking it at home, even the I'd rather eat and workout then go to the park and run. I was physically incapable of lasting on the field, I couldn't run anymore I was burnt out, I seriously felt like I was going to pass out. After the training session they told me to be at el Estadio de Romelio at 6am for a scrimmage game I assume on Saturday. I was sort of just glad to have another chance, as I'm here on trial so after every training session my fate is brought to me by either inviting me to another training session or sending me home...
Anyways after the long bus ride, then taxi ride home. I finally fell into my room and just turned on the shower and sat on the floor with cold water falling at my back. I prayed, and even then it couldn't make me feel better...Like I said I just felt so defeated. I don't know if it maybe just hit me that I'm not going to make it as a professional, or is this a test from God saying if you REALLY want this show me, and truly dedicate yourself. Nonetheless I'm not just going to give up, I'm gonna try and until they send me home I will. I hope that day doesn't come but if it does, I will be heading back to school and enrolling in University to pursue my degree and take over the family business. BUT until that day I will continue to strive for what I want. I have faith things will turn out the way God has planned for them to. I don't think this was all accidental or any of that. I trust in God and He says in the bible before you are promoted, I must see how you handle adversity and failure. I know I've talked about this in the past, so I guess I have to push through this again.
I've always said this blog is my life, not my success, not my failure, it's life. It's real it is what it is. So yeah gotta hustle, gotta grind, Lord make your will mine. I'm out everyone stay up & keep pushing forward 2011 BIG year were only one week in, 358 days left to make it a productive one get to it!
God Bless..!
Anyways after the long bus ride, then taxi ride home. I finally fell into my room and just turned on the shower and sat on the floor with cold water falling at my back. I prayed, and even then it couldn't make me feel better...Like I said I just felt so defeated. I don't know if it maybe just hit me that I'm not going to make it as a professional, or is this a test from God saying if you REALLY want this show me, and truly dedicate yourself. Nonetheless I'm not just going to give up, I'm gonna try and until they send me home I will. I hope that day doesn't come but if it does, I will be heading back to school and enrolling in University to pursue my degree and take over the family business. BUT until that day I will continue to strive for what I want. I have faith things will turn out the way God has planned for them to. I don't think this was all accidental or any of that. I trust in God and He says in the bible before you are promoted, I must see how you handle adversity and failure. I know I've talked about this in the past, so I guess I have to push through this again.
I've always said this blog is my life, not my success, not my failure, it's life. It's real it is what it is. So yeah gotta hustle, gotta grind, Lord make your will mine. I'm out everyone stay up & keep pushing forward 2011 BIG year were only one week in, 358 days left to make it a productive one get to it!
God Bless..!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Sh-- that made me laugh...
Lol I got these pics from my friend Valentina shes kinda wack but a cool girl....hope you enjoyed them those were a few I loved the Brad Pitt one...aight im out...
God bless
Monday, January 3, 2011
Colombia..
Short post...Got here yesterday missed everyone out here, they make me feel right at home. Went to the training ground today, and was told to come back Thursday @ 3pm and report for training, and then again Saturday. From there I don't know what's next...So till then push ups, core, sit ups, reading of the bible, eating, music, and internet, will take up my days. My parents get here Saturday but Friday comes my cousin Isabella I've talked about her a lot and told you guys how important she is to me, so it's gonna be really cool to have someone like that around for a little bit at least. Nothing like support from those who love you the most. My parents get here Saturday but won't be in the same city but hopefully I'll have a day or two off to drive out to Cartagena to see them. Anyways those of you back in Miami who actually took the time to hang out with me, call me, text me, email me, tweet me, facebook me, etc to wish me well before I left and good luck, thank you! I have a good feeling of faith right now and am ready to work...You may not have seen it in the past but if you’ll stay in faith, it’s just a matter of time — victory is on it's way...
God bless!
God bless!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
End of the year.
So much stuff to write about! It's 1:34AM I expect to be up to about 2AM probably just writing, texting, tweeting, facebooking, AIM, it's gross how technology dependant I've become but oh well. I'm excited for things to come in 2011, I'm saying it now and saying it with confidence it's gonna be a real big year! So I'm going to try and go as far back as possible back to Colombia. As you guys know I was on trial with Junior (de Barranquilla) with the reserves of the first team. And it went well I am officially going back on Jan 2nd and having a second trial. I can not thank God enough, and I'm pretty sure some of my actions since my return to Miami haven't been that great, I've asked for forgiveness and made a change. I went out one last night and haven't gone out since. I told God I'm gonna dedicate myself to the things that need to be taken care of, and stick to them. So I haven't been going out despite the fact that I'm itching to! It sucks I got accustomed to that lifestyle, but lifestyle changes have to be made. I swear my mom tells me the coolest quotes you guys already know the one I excessively talk about, but this one was cool she said "Danny if you want to make your dream come true you need the three D's. Discipline, Determination, and Desire. LOVE THIS. My mom is dope. #thumbs up! Yeah I use hashtags now, cause I'm a twitter guy. Follow me @DannyPlaySoccer.
So I tried looking for my goals of 2010 but I couldn't find them :/ anyways I don't think I was relatively to successful but this year has come and gone, and am now looking forward to a real big 2011. Many are wondering what's going to happen with Traffic and I as a lot of people know on Dec 31st there was an option that had to be excersized in whether to move forward and renew a 2 year contract or to go our seperate ways. I think both parties would agree it was best to go our seperate ways, and so we did. All the legal paperwork hasn't been done yet, but it should be processed soon. So this basically means I'm a free agent and own the rights to my soccer pass :). Hopefully everything goes Gods way and His will and I sign in Colombia. Just gotta have faith and trust in God.
Christmas was awesome I mean I didn't really get anything extraordinary, but it's cause I'm blessed with everything I want already, but it was a lot of fun spoiling my mom, dad, and brothers with gifts. Always remember it's better to give then to get. I know society tries to f--k up your mentality with greed but don't be fooled. It's always good to give, when your in a position that enables you too.
People continue to fall in and out of my life, but for some reason I stand unaffected by it, something I really love to do though, is meet new people. I don't know why I love having conversations with different people, and learning about them. Sometimes at least.
My dads job the family business has really excelled this year. My brother began working there part time, I work there along with my mom voluntarily (my mom has her own job). The company has grown an incredible 24% and that just goes to show you that with God all things are possible! Never let any hater tell you otherwise. That's one thing I really can't stand a hater, they're just so negative, and annoying. But whatever my dads business has really excelled and all the glory goes to the man upstairs thank you God for your work over my life, and my families life. My dads job is a freight forwarding company so if you need anything at all shipped from here to Colombia we got you with the best prices and service. Allcourier.com . Yeah that was my promotional bit! :)
I want to give a special thanks to my boys, I know I chill with a lot of different people, but like I said I like vibing with different people, but for sure these guys who come out and party with me, and have been my boys like family since 6th grade yall know who you are no need to name you guys, but man you guys are true friends love yall and wish you guys nothing but the best in all your endeavors brothers! 3
Uhmm so it's technically the 29th, and I leave the 2nd, crazy! Today the 29th is going to be filled with hopefully a breakfast date :) working at the family bizz, working out, eye doctor, some errands, and than a dinner date with mi amigaaaaa with great food involved! the 30th is going to be a free day to do things for me, but at night I'm gonna be with my friend having a quiet evening and hopefully catching a movie that I've been wanting to watch I forgot the name but I know when I see the name it'll come back to me. The 31st/1st with my family and enjoying there company while with them and the 2nd I'm outta hurrrrrrr.
Excitedexcitedexcitedexcited for 2011!! I know big things are coming, dream BIG, cause you have a BIG God. No point in dreaming a mediocre dream! Thank you all of you that have helped me, or betrayed me, loved me, or hated me, I've gotten to meet, or have stepped out, cause it is you people who have molded me into the person that is stepping into 2011. I've grown through so many mistakes this year. God all I want to do now is receive your shower of blessings, and return to you all the Glory, I don't seek no crown, no fame, no glory, I give it to you as you are the reason for my success and the one who deserves it all not me God. Thank you all for reading sorry if I bored you with a long post, that wasn't quite interesting on my points and views, but just more about me and what's to come! Have a blessed day/night and never forget to walk around with a smile on your face :)
God Bless!
So I tried looking for my goals of 2010 but I couldn't find them :/ anyways I don't think I was relatively to successful but this year has come and gone, and am now looking forward to a real big 2011. Many are wondering what's going to happen with Traffic and I as a lot of people know on Dec 31st there was an option that had to be excersized in whether to move forward and renew a 2 year contract or to go our seperate ways. I think both parties would agree it was best to go our seperate ways, and so we did. All the legal paperwork hasn't been done yet, but it should be processed soon. So this basically means I'm a free agent and own the rights to my soccer pass :). Hopefully everything goes Gods way and His will and I sign in Colombia. Just gotta have faith and trust in God.
Christmas was awesome I mean I didn't really get anything extraordinary, but it's cause I'm blessed with everything I want already, but it was a lot of fun spoiling my mom, dad, and brothers with gifts. Always remember it's better to give then to get. I know society tries to f--k up your mentality with greed but don't be fooled. It's always good to give, when your in a position that enables you too.
People continue to fall in and out of my life, but for some reason I stand unaffected by it, something I really love to do though, is meet new people. I don't know why I love having conversations with different people, and learning about them. Sometimes at least.
My dads job the family business has really excelled this year. My brother began working there part time, I work there along with my mom voluntarily (my mom has her own job). The company has grown an incredible 24% and that just goes to show you that with God all things are possible! Never let any hater tell you otherwise. That's one thing I really can't stand a hater, they're just so negative, and annoying. But whatever my dads business has really excelled and all the glory goes to the man upstairs thank you God for your work over my life, and my families life. My dads job is a freight forwarding company so if you need anything at all shipped from here to Colombia we got you with the best prices and service. Allcourier.com . Yeah that was my promotional bit! :)
I want to give a special thanks to my boys, I know I chill with a lot of different people, but like I said I like vibing with different people, but for sure these guys who come out and party with me, and have been my boys like family since 6th grade yall know who you are no need to name you guys, but man you guys are true friends love yall and wish you guys nothing but the best in all your endeavors brothers! 3
Uhmm so it's technically the 29th, and I leave the 2nd, crazy! Today the 29th is going to be filled with hopefully a breakfast date :) working at the family bizz, working out, eye doctor, some errands, and than a dinner date with mi amigaaaaa with great food involved! the 30th is going to be a free day to do things for me, but at night I'm gonna be with my friend having a quiet evening and hopefully catching a movie that I've been wanting to watch I forgot the name but I know when I see the name it'll come back to me. The 31st/1st with my family and enjoying there company while with them and the 2nd I'm outta hurrrrrrr.
Excitedexcitedexcitedexcited for 2011!! I know big things are coming, dream BIG, cause you have a BIG God. No point in dreaming a mediocre dream! Thank you all of you that have helped me, or betrayed me, loved me, or hated me, I've gotten to meet, or have stepped out, cause it is you people who have molded me into the person that is stepping into 2011. I've grown through so many mistakes this year. God all I want to do now is receive your shower of blessings, and return to you all the Glory, I don't seek no crown, no fame, no glory, I give it to you as you are the reason for my success and the one who deserves it all not me God. Thank you all for reading sorry if I bored you with a long post, that wasn't quite interesting on my points and views, but just more about me and what's to come! Have a blessed day/night and never forget to walk around with a smile on your face :)
God Bless!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
One week later.
One week. All it took for me to push peoples buttons, and almost manage to tarnish a marriage. Crazy right? If anything you'd think I'm fuc-ing with someones wife or something, but na it's my own family. Monday night I got back from NYC I made a stupid selfish decision, Thursday I managed to do it again & to than Saturday was the icing on the cake. I disrespected, & nearly tore a family apart. I'm really that selfish of a person? Do I really think about myself and not others? I won't get that into detail but I mean I was born and raised with proper principles, proper morals, and pretty much a spoiled life. Why the hell can't I give back everyday to those who give me everyday. Who break there OWN backs for ME. Why must I attempt to please everyone and live a life that's not true. I was hit with some pretty hard words today, words that make u scared, words that make u feel pain, and not one mans pain, but 5 peoples pain, a families pain.
My friends who really do keep up with my blog know how I am. I'm never one to be shy about myself, and whether I had great success or great failure I will write about it. I'm not one of those people who only talk or show my face when I succeed only, I tell my story whether it's good, or bad. Cause I know it's something people can relate to. If I would only write when things were going good, everybody would think I have the perfect life. But that's not the case, the truth is I have been through a lot and will continue too, this just helps me vent and I hope it may also serve as a motivational tool one day for some people or maybe an inspiration, whatever. That being the case I'm making changes. I'm not really sure how many times I've said this or if I've even said it, but I really am. For now don't worry what exactly I'm going to do, cause quite frankly I'm not 100% sure yet what I am going to do, but definitely making changes and going to move forward with them for my own good. Is that me being selfish again? I hope not I'm just trying to change my life for the better. And not only for the better for me, but for those I care about most. Todays words from my dad also made me realize how true is the fact that my friends are counted probably on my fingers.
I also wanted to mention how incredibly stupid I've been over the past 18 months with my soccer career. I know what I want in life but at the same time I want to live a lifestyle that has it all when I don't. Not even close. If I truthfully would've gave soccer my all and tried right now I should be making a lot of more money, be a lot more successful. Instead I'm struggling, grinding, hustling. See in the past 18 months, I've taken soccer for granted and probably as of last month I took it serious again, and was really working at it, until I came back to Miami and people put me back into a lifestyle I love but isn't healthy and will end real quick for me unless I get on my sh-t. So I hope I'm able to salvage my soccer career after an 18 month money blowing, hurt my own body, ignorant, arrogant lifestyle. I've lost people, I've lost friends, I've gained friends, met great people, seeing lives changes, seeing lives taken, time to take my fuc-ing life into my hands and fight for what I want. Most importantly return to a lifestyle that's pleasing to God. Not a lifestyle that pleases me or you, cause why should I give a fu-k about making myself or you happy, when God gave me everything, he's kept me alive, he's kept me going, he continues to bless me. Heeee deserves my life, so I now try to make changes for the better to put a smile on my Gods face. If you down with my life, fu-k with me then, if you not ride out. I slipped, I don't do that often but glad my parents caught me slipping before someone else did. Cause my family gave me a second chance, you may not understand why I'm going so deep, but it's cause some sh-t isn't mentioned on here, but just know that I'm changing, so if ya see me and tell me I changed I hope you can say it's for the better, unless your a promoter and I'm not fuc-ing throwing hundreds in your pocket for something I can cap for $25 at the corner store. I'm not down to waste another 40k over the next 18 months. I don't got money like that, I don't want to live a life like that, I'm done. So enjoy what I gave you world, enjoy it good, cause I'm changing going back to God now, it's not easy I'm a prideful ni--a but I know God awaits for me with arms open. I just hope this time when he closes his arms around me, I don't let go again or push him away. God told me......I need gratitude maybe just a sample, cause he never gave me anything that I really couldn't handle..
God Bless..
My friends who really do keep up with my blog know how I am. I'm never one to be shy about myself, and whether I had great success or great failure I will write about it. I'm not one of those people who only talk or show my face when I succeed only, I tell my story whether it's good, or bad. Cause I know it's something people can relate to. If I would only write when things were going good, everybody would think I have the perfect life. But that's not the case, the truth is I have been through a lot and will continue too, this just helps me vent and I hope it may also serve as a motivational tool one day for some people or maybe an inspiration, whatever. That being the case I'm making changes. I'm not really sure how many times I've said this or if I've even said it, but I really am. For now don't worry what exactly I'm going to do, cause quite frankly I'm not 100% sure yet what I am going to do, but definitely making changes and going to move forward with them for my own good. Is that me being selfish again? I hope not I'm just trying to change my life for the better. And not only for the better for me, but for those I care about most. Todays words from my dad also made me realize how true is the fact that my friends are counted probably on my fingers.
I also wanted to mention how incredibly stupid I've been over the past 18 months with my soccer career. I know what I want in life but at the same time I want to live a lifestyle that has it all when I don't. Not even close. If I truthfully would've gave soccer my all and tried right now I should be making a lot of more money, be a lot more successful. Instead I'm struggling, grinding, hustling. See in the past 18 months, I've taken soccer for granted and probably as of last month I took it serious again, and was really working at it, until I came back to Miami and people put me back into a lifestyle I love but isn't healthy and will end real quick for me unless I get on my sh-t. So I hope I'm able to salvage my soccer career after an 18 month money blowing, hurt my own body, ignorant, arrogant lifestyle. I've lost people, I've lost friends, I've gained friends, met great people, seeing lives changes, seeing lives taken, time to take my fuc-ing life into my hands and fight for what I want. Most importantly return to a lifestyle that's pleasing to God. Not a lifestyle that pleases me or you, cause why should I give a fu-k about making myself or you happy, when God gave me everything, he's kept me alive, he's kept me going, he continues to bless me. Heeee deserves my life, so I now try to make changes for the better to put a smile on my Gods face. If you down with my life, fu-k with me then, if you not ride out. I slipped, I don't do that often but glad my parents caught me slipping before someone else did. Cause my family gave me a second chance, you may not understand why I'm going so deep, but it's cause some sh-t isn't mentioned on here, but just know that I'm changing, so if ya see me and tell me I changed I hope you can say it's for the better, unless your a promoter and I'm not fuc-ing throwing hundreds in your pocket for something I can cap for $25 at the corner store. I'm not down to waste another 40k over the next 18 months. I don't got money like that, I don't want to live a life like that, I'm done. So enjoy what I gave you world, enjoy it good, cause I'm changing going back to God now, it's not easy I'm a prideful ni--a but I know God awaits for me with arms open. I just hope this time when he closes his arms around me, I don't let go again or push him away. God told me......I need gratitude maybe just a sample, cause he never gave me anything that I really couldn't handle..
God Bless..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)