On a last minute flight back home to Miami from Ft. Lauderdale. Obviously since I'm on this flight things didn't work out in Atlanta, coach gave me 20 roughly 25 minutes to play in this "next" opportunity. I came in and immediately tried to get into the attack, I felt I did as much as I could in the 25 minutes honestly. I got into the attack about 4-6 times twice whipping in some crosses, another time putting a through ball onto the striker going at goal, and a few runs at goal I made where the ball was played too long, or I didn't get played at but was making the run. Defensively I only had one, one on one on the edge of the 18 with arguably our opponents best player, I shielded the ball well as he tried beating me, and with composure outta the back I cleared the ball. That was just about the game. Coach spoke with post game and told me….
Right now physically your close, but not there yet and I feel like you didn't make enough of an impact on the game. I also don't notice a change of speed like a second gear like a pinging pass, and a quick movement. Regardless your a good player, and we went through about 3-4 left backs before you, and you were the closest to being signed. Unfortunately we just don't feel your quite there yet, we have you number though and can call you so keep training.
I defended my argument and case, but he turned it down and said to take this as advice and not criticism and to keep working. So I thanked him, shook his hand and was on my way. The guys that I was living with were bothered and felt I should've signed. I don't know if there opinions are biased since they got to know me as a person, but thats just the way it worked out this time around. The game of soccer is unjust, but so is life. You simply gotta make the most of your opportunities when they are presented, I didn't I guess. The whole time here though I prayed for Gods will to be done in my life, I begged God please do your will. If this is it, I take it with my head held high and continue to see what direction God wants to push in me next. For now I get to back and see my family and friends and REST (not for long though). I haven't seen my family since Xmas, and my older brother/best friend since October!
So like I said for now I'll be able to relax, and rest and enjoy my family, friends, and dogs! But after a little bit of resting it's back to the grind. I'm chasing a dream, no dream comes easy. I dream of playing in the first league in Australia and living there, that's a dream for me. You must understand in chasing a dream, especially one like soccer the odds are so against you making it, so against you achieving any form what so ever of success!! But with hard work, dedication, and it being Gods will I know I will succeed and come out on top. In this there will be many highs and lows but it's all worth it for when you do make it and you become a constant in the professional ranks. It's a grind, and that's what I'm gonna do get on my grind after I rest a bit. Count on it, I'm 21 years old I still have my season in the MISL with the Wichita Wings to look forward too, but I'm chasing a bigger picture, a bigger vision, and to attain it I must put in the necessary work required. This will be a tough task for me living in Miami as we all know my struggles there with distractions, but I believe I have a strong core of supporters mixed of my friends who'll hold me accountable, my family, and good friends. God is good, let Him take control of your life. Sow into the kingdom, and reap the fruits of your labor from Heaven. Should be landing soon, love you guys, the readers, followers, for all your messages, calls, texts, prayers, everything. Just another bump in the road!!
God Bless
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
2012 life wise
I've always been very open & personal in my blog. I feel like I never should have anything to hide so that is the way I go about things. I also feel as if these words, and life struggles, and success people will be able to relate to and learn from. Like that one time I got a touching email from the kid playing over in Budapest, that's what this blog is intended for.
So 2012, I was thinking big things, big dreams, big money schemes, etc etc. What has 2012 brought me instead? I went back to drinking ways, I got back into a partying lifestyle (like in Miami in 2010) and worst of all I got caught in a gambling habit, sports betting. With the mixture of all these things I manage to piss a way a ton of money, so much that I don't have money at the moment & was considering pawning old things like watches, jewelry, etc etc. I wasn't sure what do & how it would affect not only me but those around me. At the same token I don't think there are much bigger blessings than those that make you realize who will ALWAYS be there for you regardless of the situation. I got myself in such a big debt that I'm still paying off today but again I'm so lucky to have a brother & friends, who's helping me pay this off. It's no easy thing, admitting you messed up, and its definitely no easy thing putting your ego to the side. I've learned to do so though, I've learned ego is such an ugly thing. It'll keep you from receiving and doing so much, just because you don't want to look bad in the eyes of those who you thought mattered. When in reality the only ones that matter, can most likely be count with the amount of fingers you have and that's it. Obviously I haven't placed a sports bet since, and it doesn't interest me. I was thinking making money quick, instead I got myself in a hole that I couldn't get out of myself, thank God I have people helping me around me.....As far as the drinking goes, since coming to Atlanta, I've made a pact with God to no alcohol during my time here, outdoor requires a ton more discipline than indoor does. It requires more fitness, and more proper care of your body. So I've been successful in that so far, and I do it happily and willingly considering it'll only benefit me.
So that goes for my personal life. As for my continuing relationship with God oh Lord how it's had it's ups and downs. Recently though for about the past monthish or so, I feel on a little bit of high with God feeling so blessed to know that the creator of this whole entire world (think about that for a bit) loves me, and cares about me. God has always answered my prayers whether that be from my soccer career, all the way to making my fathers cancer disappear. God is always always always good. Its easier said in hindsight rather than when your "in the moment." The biggest change I've noticed in my relationship with God is the willingness to read His word and learn more about Him, also the desire to want to please Him by trying to be celibate, and make pacts like no alcohol to show Him the sacrifice I'm willing to make to play this game I love & give Him glory. Some may think well, giving up alcohol isn't all that hard...For me though, it's a daunting task to ask of. I love drinking alcohol, but I will deny my flesh the pleasure, and instead feed my spirit.
Lastly to finish up on my personal life I will speak about women. In 2012 women have been very kind to me, I have made good friendships of those who we were on bad terms with before, and I'm happy with where all my relationships with women lie right now. I'm currently dating a girl, and it's long distance so a pretty tough task but I'm happy for now with the way things are going and hopefully it'll continue to progress as such. I never get to into it about women on this, cause well thats not only speaking about me when this topic comes up, it involves speaking about others with me. So to be fair to all the women, I keep names and details absent from this blog. But yeah, life in 2012 has been no easy task, you figure as you grow you learn more but there you will continue to ask yourself when will you stop "learning from your mistakes." The answer is never, you can learn from your mistakes you've MADE, but there will always be mistakes in your future, so prepare for the bumps in the road ahead and keep your head high towards the sky. God is always there with open arms to help you. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Good day everyone
God Bless
So 2012, I was thinking big things, big dreams, big money schemes, etc etc. What has 2012 brought me instead? I went back to drinking ways, I got back into a partying lifestyle (like in Miami in 2010) and worst of all I got caught in a gambling habit, sports betting. With the mixture of all these things I manage to piss a way a ton of money, so much that I don't have money at the moment & was considering pawning old things like watches, jewelry, etc etc. I wasn't sure what do & how it would affect not only me but those around me. At the same token I don't think there are much bigger blessings than those that make you realize who will ALWAYS be there for you regardless of the situation. I got myself in such a big debt that I'm still paying off today but again I'm so lucky to have a brother & friends, who's helping me pay this off. It's no easy thing, admitting you messed up, and its definitely no easy thing putting your ego to the side. I've learned to do so though, I've learned ego is such an ugly thing. It'll keep you from receiving and doing so much, just because you don't want to look bad in the eyes of those who you thought mattered. When in reality the only ones that matter, can most likely be count with the amount of fingers you have and that's it. Obviously I haven't placed a sports bet since, and it doesn't interest me. I was thinking making money quick, instead I got myself in a hole that I couldn't get out of myself, thank God I have people helping me around me.....As far as the drinking goes, since coming to Atlanta, I've made a pact with God to no alcohol during my time here, outdoor requires a ton more discipline than indoor does. It requires more fitness, and more proper care of your body. So I've been successful in that so far, and I do it happily and willingly considering it'll only benefit me.
So that goes for my personal life. As for my continuing relationship with God oh Lord how it's had it's ups and downs. Recently though for about the past monthish or so, I feel on a little bit of high with God feeling so blessed to know that the creator of this whole entire world (think about that for a bit) loves me, and cares about me. God has always answered my prayers whether that be from my soccer career, all the way to making my fathers cancer disappear. God is always always always good. Its easier said in hindsight rather than when your "in the moment." The biggest change I've noticed in my relationship with God is the willingness to read His word and learn more about Him, also the desire to want to please Him by trying to be celibate, and make pacts like no alcohol to show Him the sacrifice I'm willing to make to play this game I love & give Him glory. Some may think well, giving up alcohol isn't all that hard...For me though, it's a daunting task to ask of. I love drinking alcohol, but I will deny my flesh the pleasure, and instead feed my spirit.
Lastly to finish up on my personal life I will speak about women. In 2012 women have been very kind to me, I have made good friendships of those who we were on bad terms with before, and I'm happy with where all my relationships with women lie right now. I'm currently dating a girl, and it's long distance so a pretty tough task but I'm happy for now with the way things are going and hopefully it'll continue to progress as such. I never get to into it about women on this, cause well thats not only speaking about me when this topic comes up, it involves speaking about others with me. So to be fair to all the women, I keep names and details absent from this blog. But yeah, life in 2012 has been no easy task, you figure as you grow you learn more but there you will continue to ask yourself when will you stop "learning from your mistakes." The answer is never, you can learn from your mistakes you've MADE, but there will always be mistakes in your future, so prepare for the bumps in the road ahead and keep your head high towards the sky. God is always there with open arms to help you. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Good day everyone
God Bless
MISL Season wrap up/Soccer update
I haven't written since last year...pretty sad. Usually (like most people) I get motivated in the beginning of a new year to write again or do something I haven't done in a while. Obviously that didn't happen. But anyways Vegas was crazy, so much going on it's a really awesome city but not for me honestly. I'll take Miami any day over it, but that's probably biased since I'm from there. I really enjoyed spending time with my family, and hanging out with them. Also gotta give a S/O to my girl Kristi she took me out in Vegas style and it was really cool, tons of fun, and no sleep hah. Overall I'd give Vegas like a 6-7 the buildings, shows, & food are a must while there but I guess for me I'll just take a beach over anything really, but you definitely have to go there once!
So onto the MISL & my rookie season. Last you guys read I was recovering from my injury I'd say I'm about 90% NOW just cause I never healed it properly, and there are still movements I can't do so that injury affected me a lot more than the 6-8 weeks than I thought. Anyways I was blessed to have two fantastic coaches and a whole bunch of great teammates my first year in the league, all the big expectations weren't made out to be with many setbacks during the season. But I feel good about next season, I've learned a lot about the indoor game the best way you can, by simply playing. We ended this season not making the playoffs, but we've definitely created a good bond and I'm excited for next year. The MISL refs though in all honesty really need to improve, so many bad calls I saw this year! I'm talking about calls that change the complexion of the game causing different results, they shouldn't have that much control in a soccer match. Oh well...right now Milwaukee Wave host Baltimore Blast for the 2nd game in the best of 3 series where the first match saw Milwaukee winning in convincing fashion 14-2 I believe. So for me I met a ton of great people in the league, and it's cool how everyone knows everyone in this league. Also playing in Wichita has been a huge blessing for me, I'm humbled and feel lucky to be apart of such a great organization, and to play in front of the BEST fans in the league!!! When you got fans waiting for you at the airport on a Sunday night that's love. You just won't find that anywhere else. I will be coming back to Wichita in October and I get jittery just thinking about it.
Also in my last post I wrote about going to the USL Combine, I gotta say I'm not a fan of it. It seems like a money scheme thing more than anything. And I don't say that cause I had a bad combine, I say that cause everything is so jam packed. Most players were exhausted by the last game or even second game. I definitely was considering my schedule that weekend, this is how it went for me.
Thursday - Game vs Milwaukee in Wichita 730pm ended around 10:30-11ish
Friday - Drive from Wichita to Kansas City at 2am 3 hours get to KC @ 5am catch a 6:30am flight.
Friday - Connect in Atlanta around 8:50am catch a 9:40am flight to Sarasota.
Friday - Arrive to Sarasota around 11am catch a shuttle to IMG Academies. Have lunch.
Friday - 3:30pm training session followed by a yoyo test got home about 6:30pm finally.
Saturday - 90 minute game at 11am
Saturday - 90 minute game at 3pm
Sunday - 90 minute game at 9am combine done at noon.
It's so ridiculous & hectic and most importantly unfair to the players! But oh well lesson learned, if you have another option besides the USL Combine, take it! So yeah the USL combine was not good to me, also considering I was kinda beat up from playing Milwaukee.
After that I wrapped up my season in Wichita which ended about 2 weeks ago today? I wasn't sure what I was going to do after the season so I called up one of my buddies who's playing for the Atlanta Silverbacks and asked him to get me in contact with the coach, I did & was asked to come try out and show what I got. I been here now for 11 days & for the first 9 days I was doing really well, I know I impressed and was getting along great with the guys. The training regime here has been really tough on me, given the fact I haven't rested for more than like two days in the past 6 months (aside from Xmas) has my body worn out. So doing these two a days was killing me, I kept up & produced a good work rate. Then I was told Saturday (yesterday) would be my like my main trial as we played host to Mercer University, unfortunately I played God awful, and had the worst performance since arriving to Atlanta, along with pulling my hamstring in the 55th minute and asking for sub out. Post game I asked the coach to have a word with him. We ended up deciding we'd speak over the phone cause he had to go.
So I called him and the conversation long story short was "How can I justify to the GM, President, & Ownder giving you a contract when you failed the exam, the main part today" there was a lot more open and honest conversation between the coach and I but it ended up with him saying the words a soccer player never wants to here. "Well we have your number, and we'll call you if anything." I knew what that meant, and I knew what time it was. So as I spoke with my parents, brothers, and friends I was trying to figure out when I was gonna go back to Miami when I got a call back from the coach. The call again to make long story short went like this "After reanalyzing your situation, I'm gonna give you another chance. We have a game Wednesday so rest today, tomorrow, and Monday get your mind right or whatever you have to do. Tuesday I'll see you at training, and Wednesday you'll have another chance." I was ecstatic, humbled, and thankful. Ecstatic to have another chance to earn a contract, humbled by the belief the coach had in me and his change of heart so quick, which I feel like quite honestly was God interjecting. Sort of like God saying, na na na na, these are the plans for my son, so He will succeed! So obviously thankful to God & the coach for a second chance, not everyday we get one but when you do....better be damn sure you make the most out of it. So that's where I am right now soccer wise, my next post probably tomorrow will talk more about my life, and how I 2012 has not been good to me, and my struggles in my personal life. Tune in for it read it!! God is goooooood
God Bless!!!
So onto the MISL & my rookie season. Last you guys read I was recovering from my injury I'd say I'm about 90% NOW just cause I never healed it properly, and there are still movements I can't do so that injury affected me a lot more than the 6-8 weeks than I thought. Anyways I was blessed to have two fantastic coaches and a whole bunch of great teammates my first year in the league, all the big expectations weren't made out to be with many setbacks during the season. But I feel good about next season, I've learned a lot about the indoor game the best way you can, by simply playing. We ended this season not making the playoffs, but we've definitely created a good bond and I'm excited for next year. The MISL refs though in all honesty really need to improve, so many bad calls I saw this year! I'm talking about calls that change the complexion of the game causing different results, they shouldn't have that much control in a soccer match. Oh well...right now Milwaukee Wave host Baltimore Blast for the 2nd game in the best of 3 series where the first match saw Milwaukee winning in convincing fashion 14-2 I believe. So for me I met a ton of great people in the league, and it's cool how everyone knows everyone in this league. Also playing in Wichita has been a huge blessing for me, I'm humbled and feel lucky to be apart of such a great organization, and to play in front of the BEST fans in the league!!! When you got fans waiting for you at the airport on a Sunday night that's love. You just won't find that anywhere else. I will be coming back to Wichita in October and I get jittery just thinking about it.
Also in my last post I wrote about going to the USL Combine, I gotta say I'm not a fan of it. It seems like a money scheme thing more than anything. And I don't say that cause I had a bad combine, I say that cause everything is so jam packed. Most players were exhausted by the last game or even second game. I definitely was considering my schedule that weekend, this is how it went for me.
Thursday - Game vs Milwaukee in Wichita 730pm ended around 10:30-11ish
Friday - Drive from Wichita to Kansas City at 2am 3 hours get to KC @ 5am catch a 6:30am flight.
Friday - Connect in Atlanta around 8:50am catch a 9:40am flight to Sarasota.
Friday - Arrive to Sarasota around 11am catch a shuttle to IMG Academies. Have lunch.
Friday - 3:30pm training session followed by a yoyo test got home about 6:30pm finally.
Saturday - 90 minute game at 11am
Saturday - 90 minute game at 3pm
Sunday - 90 minute game at 9am combine done at noon.
It's so ridiculous & hectic and most importantly unfair to the players! But oh well lesson learned, if you have another option besides the USL Combine, take it! So yeah the USL combine was not good to me, also considering I was kinda beat up from playing Milwaukee.
After that I wrapped up my season in Wichita which ended about 2 weeks ago today? I wasn't sure what I was going to do after the season so I called up one of my buddies who's playing for the Atlanta Silverbacks and asked him to get me in contact with the coach, I did & was asked to come try out and show what I got. I been here now for 11 days & for the first 9 days I was doing really well, I know I impressed and was getting along great with the guys. The training regime here has been really tough on me, given the fact I haven't rested for more than like two days in the past 6 months (aside from Xmas) has my body worn out. So doing these two a days was killing me, I kept up & produced a good work rate. Then I was told Saturday (yesterday) would be my like my main trial as we played host to Mercer University, unfortunately I played God awful, and had the worst performance since arriving to Atlanta, along with pulling my hamstring in the 55th minute and asking for sub out. Post game I asked the coach to have a word with him. We ended up deciding we'd speak over the phone cause he had to go.
So I called him and the conversation long story short was "How can I justify to the GM, President, & Ownder giving you a contract when you failed the exam, the main part today" there was a lot more open and honest conversation between the coach and I but it ended up with him saying the words a soccer player never wants to here. "Well we have your number, and we'll call you if anything." I knew what that meant, and I knew what time it was. So as I spoke with my parents, brothers, and friends I was trying to figure out when I was gonna go back to Miami when I got a call back from the coach. The call again to make long story short went like this "After reanalyzing your situation, I'm gonna give you another chance. We have a game Wednesday so rest today, tomorrow, and Monday get your mind right or whatever you have to do. Tuesday I'll see you at training, and Wednesday you'll have another chance." I was ecstatic, humbled, and thankful. Ecstatic to have another chance to earn a contract, humbled by the belief the coach had in me and his change of heart so quick, which I feel like quite honestly was God interjecting. Sort of like God saying, na na na na, these are the plans for my son, so He will succeed! So obviously thankful to God & the coach for a second chance, not everyday we get one but when you do....better be damn sure you make the most out of it. So that's where I am right now soccer wise, my next post probably tomorrow will talk more about my life, and how I 2012 has not been good to me, and my struggles in my personal life. Tune in for it read it!! God is goooooood
God Bless!!!
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