2012 life wise

I've always been very open & personal in my blog. I feel like I never should have anything to hide so that is the way I go about things. I also feel as if these words, and life struggles, and success people will be able to relate to and learn from. Like that one time I got a touching email from the kid playing over in Budapest, that's what this blog is intended for.

So 2012, I was thinking big things, big dreams, big money schemes, etc etc. What has 2012 brought me instead? I went back to drinking ways, I got back into a partying lifestyle (like in Miami in 2010) and worst of all I got caught in a gambling habit, sports betting. With the mixture of all these things I manage to piss a way a ton of money, so much that I don't have money at the moment & was considering pawning old things like watches, jewelry, etc etc. I wasn't sure what do & how it would affect not only me but those around me. At the same token I don't think there are much bigger blessings than those that make you realize who will ALWAYS be there for you regardless of the situation. I got myself in such a big debt that I'm still paying off today but again I'm so lucky to have a brother & friends, who's helping me pay this off. It's no easy thing, admitting you messed up, and its definitely no easy thing putting your ego to the side. I've learned to do so though, I've learned ego is such an ugly thing. It'll keep you from receiving and doing so much, just because you don't want to look bad in the eyes of those who you thought mattered. When in reality the only ones that matter, can most likely be count with the amount of fingers you have and that's it. Obviously I haven't placed a sports bet since, and it doesn't interest me. I was thinking making money quick, instead I got myself in a hole that I couldn't get out of myself, thank God I have people helping me around me.....As far as the drinking goes, since coming to Atlanta, I've made a pact with God to no alcohol during my time here, outdoor requires a ton more discipline than indoor does. It requires more fitness, and more proper care of your body. So I've been successful in that so far, and I do it happily and willingly considering it'll only benefit me.

So that goes for my personal life. As for my continuing relationship with God oh Lord how it's had it's ups and downs. Recently though for about the past monthish or so, I feel on a little bit of high with God feeling so blessed to know that the creator of this whole entire world (think about that for a bit) loves me, and cares about me. God has always answered my prayers whether that be from my soccer career, all the way to making my fathers cancer disappear. God is always always always good. Its easier said in hindsight rather than when your "in the moment." The biggest change I've noticed in my relationship with God is the willingness to read His word and learn more about Him, also the desire to want to please Him by trying to be celibate, and make pacts like no alcohol to show Him the sacrifice I'm willing to make to play this game I love & give Him glory. Some may think well, giving up alcohol isn't all that hard...For me though, it's a daunting task to ask of. I love drinking alcohol, but I will deny my flesh the pleasure, and instead feed my spirit.

Lastly to finish up on my personal life I will speak about women. In 2012 women have been very kind to me, I have made good friendships of those who we were on bad terms with before, and I'm happy with where all my relationships with women lie right now. I'm currently dating a girl, and it's long distance so a pretty tough task but I'm happy for now with the way things are going and hopefully it'll continue to progress as such. I never get to into it about women on this, cause well thats not only speaking about me when this topic comes up, it involves speaking about others with me. So to be fair to all the women, I keep names and details absent from this blog. But yeah, life in 2012 has been no easy task, you figure as you grow you learn more but there you will continue to ask yourself when will you stop "learning from your mistakes." The answer is never, you can learn from your mistakes you've MADE, but there will always be mistakes in your future, so prepare for the bumps in the road ahead and keep your head high towards the sky. God is always there with open arms to help you. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Good day everyone


God Bless