Can someone become so accustomed to change that if they don't have change after a certain amount of time, they start needing it, and desiring change. Also is being on one hour of sleep, and having really strange thoughts not good for you?? Like those thoughts that you think during that one hour of sleep are they real thoughts, or thoughts that are deprived of sleep and aren't thinking right? Oh this post is on one hour of sleep and I really feeeel like I needed to write. I want change. I want to leave. I want something new. I'm desiring to succeed in something else. I don't like being the best at any one thing I think. I think I think, that I like knowing that I can succeed at it, then give it up and follow a new endeavor. Is that strange? Is it weird that when my uncle was being held alive by tubes and I can't find any words to say, how to act, or even what facial expression to have. I'm deep in my thoughts right now, maybe I shouldn't write, why should I even post this. People are going to think I'm weird. I am weird. I have an alter side to me, that not many people know when I'm alone I just think too much, I think that's why I love having so many friends to know incase I lose one I have another. But I've really learned to have a close circle now. Are you in that circle? If you have to think about it, your probably not. Soccer is life, a way of life. Partying is crazy. God is amazing. Family is love, but hate? Love but no unconditional but I feel like I have that. Am I weird to think a human can love me unconditionally, no matter my faults still care for me, love me, am I beyond your thinking level? What about taking a risk of lifetime, just this one chance that if it works it changes your life, but willing to accept the failure and willing to hear all the I told you sos'. Only way to succeed is to fail right? Damn I needed to write. Don't mind this, you don't know me. Take care all.
God bless
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
My Family
What is family to you? Someone who is blood related, or only people in your immediate family? Do you consider all your family, family? I have four brothers, one cousin, a mother, a father, and an uncle. Those are people I consider something more than family. I have two brothers, a mom, and a dad from my immediate family. Then I have an uncle and cousin from my dads side of the family. Finally I have two brothers who are really just friends but that are more than just friends to me, I consider them family.
Let's start with my two friends, Jona Andrade and Dustin Goffan. Jona, I've known him since I was hmm I'd say about 6 years old and he's always been my older brothers best friend. He's been living with my family and I now for about a year, and he's really a great humble kid. He's a hard working dedicated person. I can really say I love him, and will protect him like he's family. We have a funny relationship to, we love pissing each other off. Whether it be from the last ice cream bar, to who's winning in a video game. Haha I'm laughing while writing this, we've had so many funny moments where we just talk shit to each other. When I was younger we weren't as close, but now that I'm older and we share more interests we've really gotten closer and I just wanted to let you know even though you already know Jona your family brother, I love you man. Next is Dustin my nigggaaaaaaaa, (don't take offense anyone it's slang). I've known him forever now, but we recently started getting close about a year ago. It's crazy how you grow with someone, in just a year, I look back to a year ago when we first started hanging out and damn we were fools, and not in the best situations. I look at us now, not only has our friendship grown, but we've grown as people. I love this kid so much for his honesty. Shit if there's anyone that ever tells me like it is, and has to be brutally honest I know I can count on him. Were truly boys, brothers, and I would like to think -actually naw it's a fact I know this fool would do me a favor if I ever needed it no matter what it is, he actually baby sat my little brother a whole day for me at my house and like it wasn't the funnest thing but I had to do something and he had my back. I can get into a lot more detailed crazier stories but you'll have to go out with us to experience that haha. Love you braaa.
Next my cousin Bella, and her dad who is my uncle German. Never have I met anyone outside of my immediate family who gives me so much unconditional love like my uncle. Crazy guy he is, always in a good mood, always smiling, trying to be young. I love it he can seriously be having a bad day but I swear I wouldn't be able to notice it at all. I haven't seen him in a long time cause he doesn't live in the states no more, but damn what I would give to see him again. I'm sure I will one of these days, and soon. God knows how much I miss him, and am just longing to chill by the beach with him, and talk shit while listening to vallenato. Ah just thinking about it gives me a quick jolt of excitement followed by the pain of missing him. The time will come though for sure I have no doubt. Next, Bella Bella Bella, oh where would I be today if it wasn't for some of the talks we had. One talk in particular, I was so close to dropping out of high school, just cause I didn't feel like dealing with bullshit classes anymore. You literally came to my house that same night you heard, it was like 11pm and talked massive sense into me. You've seriously been one of my biggest supporters going to my soccer games, keeping me away from making stupid decisions. For example when I was hustling for money, and doing stupid shit, you caught me and stopped me before I got in any deeper. Honestly I'd probably have a different mindset if it weren't for you. You've always always been there for me prima I seriously love you with all my heart.
Then I have my two real blood brothers. Diego damn, all the shit we've been through together and against each other. We've done some really stupid stuff, to some even stupider stuff to each other. But honestly I can't stay mad at my brother for more than 12 hours probably. LOL yo D since your reading this, think about the day I scored on you at FIFA at 3am and stayed quiet and you just whooped my ass in the closet for scoring a goal, haha I'm seriously cracking up at my computer screen as I write this. I love you big brother, you know I've always looked up to you. You've always been an inspiration to me, and I hope in some ways I can be one to you as well. You have definitely kept me out of trouble, now that I think about why am I always getting myself into dumb troublesome situations? Whatever thank God I got a brother like you to look out for me, I love you man you know we have a bond like no other. I'm proud of everything your doing in your life D you've made me somewhat the person I am today with advice, and just learning from your dumb mistakes haha. Keep looking over me man, I'm bound to keep messing up. Now for my younger brother, for those of you who are close to me know that we call him Mono. Mono man your so annoying sometimes, but I know I'm way more annoying to you than you are to me!! I love you so much mono, I guess that's why sometimes I'm so hard on you about soccer, and stuff it's only cause I want you to be the best at everything. Like in Call Of Duty you rape me in it! I want you to know also Mono that I'm always here to give you advice on anything from girls, to soccer, to anything. Your the best little brother, and I'm sorry for pissing you off so many times, and making you do favors for me. I promise that when I go back to Miami we'll go paintballing again to make it up to you. Your the best little brother ever, and not only cause of the favors you do for me!! Love you monks.
Lastly my parents, my mom. I'm gonna write this part in spanish for them. Mami y Papi adonde comienzo con ustedes. Jamas en mi vida e conocido unos papas que dan todo el amor, sacrificio, que ustedes dan y en sima de eso yo hago y a echo toda las cagadas del mundo. Perdoname por todo las peleas que emos tenio se que tengo un caracter fuerte y no estamos de acuerdo muchas veces. Pero como siempre ustedes ya lo viveron y siempre tienen la razon. Mami, papi gracias por nunca darse por vencido en mi. Si no era por todo el apollo de ustedes y la fe que ustedes tienen en mi, no estaria donde estoy hoy. Mami gracias por siempre hablarme y darme la confianza para segir con cosas cuando yo no queria mas. Papi gracias por darme todo el amor y supporto que me das, y tambien por ensenarme que tienes que luchar para lo que quieres en esta vida. Usted es el ejemplo mas grande de eso, con todo lo que has vivido y ahora haciendo el hermano menor supportas a todo ellos con lo que puedas, y en sima de eso das todo a tu familia. Los dos son personas maravillosas y si Dios quiere puedo ser solo medio de lo que son ustedes. Incredible la fe que tienen, el amor, que dan, y tan trabajadores que son. Gracias por ensenarme todo lo que me han ensenado, por todo los consejos, y por hacerme en la persona que ven en frente de ustedes hoy en dia. O jala les doy orgullo a ustedes para mi tengo todo el orgullo del mundo para decir que ustedes son mis papas. Los amo con todo lo que tengo!! I love you!!!!!!
Damn.........that was a bit emotional. For those who don't understand spanish I'm sorry, that was something more correlated toward my parents. But yeah that's my family, that's what makes me who I am. Those are the people I pray for everyday, and hope God protects and blesses their lives each day more and more. Take a second to appreciate your family, give your mom that kiss goodbye. Call your dad and wish him a good day at work, and tell him you want to have lunch together. Go play basketball with your brother in the park, and then talk shit after. Help around the house for when your mom gets home she has one less chore to do. Appreciate your family, there something special. I love you fam, hope you guys enjoyed todays entry.
God bless.
Let's start with my two friends, Jona Andrade and Dustin Goffan. Jona, I've known him since I was hmm I'd say about 6 years old and he's always been my older brothers best friend. He's been living with my family and I now for about a year, and he's really a great humble kid. He's a hard working dedicated person. I can really say I love him, and will protect him like he's family. We have a funny relationship to, we love pissing each other off. Whether it be from the last ice cream bar, to who's winning in a video game. Haha I'm laughing while writing this, we've had so many funny moments where we just talk shit to each other. When I was younger we weren't as close, but now that I'm older and we share more interests we've really gotten closer and I just wanted to let you know even though you already know Jona your family brother, I love you man. Next is Dustin my nigggaaaaaaaa, (don't take offense anyone it's slang). I've known him forever now, but we recently started getting close about a year ago. It's crazy how you grow with someone, in just a year, I look back to a year ago when we first started hanging out and damn we were fools, and not in the best situations. I look at us now, not only has our friendship grown, but we've grown as people. I love this kid so much for his honesty. Shit if there's anyone that ever tells me like it is, and has to be brutally honest I know I can count on him. Were truly boys, brothers, and I would like to think -actually naw it's a fact I know this fool would do me a favor if I ever needed it no matter what it is, he actually baby sat my little brother a whole day for me at my house and like it wasn't the funnest thing but I had to do something and he had my back. I can get into a lot more detailed crazier stories but you'll have to go out with us to experience that haha. Love you braaa.
Next my cousin Bella, and her dad who is my uncle German. Never have I met anyone outside of my immediate family who gives me so much unconditional love like my uncle. Crazy guy he is, always in a good mood, always smiling, trying to be young. I love it he can seriously be having a bad day but I swear I wouldn't be able to notice it at all. I haven't seen him in a long time cause he doesn't live in the states no more, but damn what I would give to see him again. I'm sure I will one of these days, and soon. God knows how much I miss him, and am just longing to chill by the beach with him, and talk shit while listening to vallenato. Ah just thinking about it gives me a quick jolt of excitement followed by the pain of missing him. The time will come though for sure I have no doubt. Next, Bella Bella Bella, oh where would I be today if it wasn't for some of the talks we had. One talk in particular, I was so close to dropping out of high school, just cause I didn't feel like dealing with bullshit classes anymore. You literally came to my house that same night you heard, it was like 11pm and talked massive sense into me. You've seriously been one of my biggest supporters going to my soccer games, keeping me away from making stupid decisions. For example when I was hustling for money, and doing stupid shit, you caught me and stopped me before I got in any deeper. Honestly I'd probably have a different mindset if it weren't for you. You've always always been there for me prima I seriously love you with all my heart.
Then I have my two real blood brothers. Diego damn, all the shit we've been through together and against each other. We've done some really stupid stuff, to some even stupider stuff to each other. But honestly I can't stay mad at my brother for more than 12 hours probably. LOL yo D since your reading this, think about the day I scored on you at FIFA at 3am and stayed quiet and you just whooped my ass in the closet for scoring a goal, haha I'm seriously cracking up at my computer screen as I write this. I love you big brother, you know I've always looked up to you. You've always been an inspiration to me, and I hope in some ways I can be one to you as well. You have definitely kept me out of trouble, now that I think about why am I always getting myself into dumb troublesome situations? Whatever thank God I got a brother like you to look out for me, I love you man you know we have a bond like no other. I'm proud of everything your doing in your life D you've made me somewhat the person I am today with advice, and just learning from your dumb mistakes haha. Keep looking over me man, I'm bound to keep messing up. Now for my younger brother, for those of you who are close to me know that we call him Mono. Mono man your so annoying sometimes, but I know I'm way more annoying to you than you are to me!! I love you so much mono, I guess that's why sometimes I'm so hard on you about soccer, and stuff it's only cause I want you to be the best at everything. Like in Call Of Duty you rape me in it! I want you to know also Mono that I'm always here to give you advice on anything from girls, to soccer, to anything. Your the best little brother, and I'm sorry for pissing you off so many times, and making you do favors for me. I promise that when I go back to Miami we'll go paintballing again to make it up to you. Your the best little brother ever, and not only cause of the favors you do for me!! Love you monks.
Lastly my parents, my mom. I'm gonna write this part in spanish for them. Mami y Papi adonde comienzo con ustedes. Jamas en mi vida e conocido unos papas que dan todo el amor, sacrificio, que ustedes dan y en sima de eso yo hago y a echo toda las cagadas del mundo. Perdoname por todo las peleas que emos tenio se que tengo un caracter fuerte y no estamos de acuerdo muchas veces. Pero como siempre ustedes ya lo viveron y siempre tienen la razon. Mami, papi gracias por nunca darse por vencido en mi. Si no era por todo el apollo de ustedes y la fe que ustedes tienen en mi, no estaria donde estoy hoy. Mami gracias por siempre hablarme y darme la confianza para segir con cosas cuando yo no queria mas. Papi gracias por darme todo el amor y supporto que me das, y tambien por ensenarme que tienes que luchar para lo que quieres en esta vida. Usted es el ejemplo mas grande de eso, con todo lo que has vivido y ahora haciendo el hermano menor supportas a todo ellos con lo que puedas, y en sima de eso das todo a tu familia. Los dos son personas maravillosas y si Dios quiere puedo ser solo medio de lo que son ustedes. Incredible la fe que tienen, el amor, que dan, y tan trabajadores que son. Gracias por ensenarme todo lo que me han ensenado, por todo los consejos, y por hacerme en la persona que ven en frente de ustedes hoy en dia. O jala les doy orgullo a ustedes para mi tengo todo el orgullo del mundo para decir que ustedes son mis papas. Los amo con todo lo que tengo!! I love you!!!!!!
Damn.........that was a bit emotional. For those who don't understand spanish I'm sorry, that was something more correlated toward my parents. But yeah that's my family, that's what makes me who I am. Those are the people I pray for everyday, and hope God protects and blesses their lives each day more and more. Take a second to appreciate your family, give your mom that kiss goodbye. Call your dad and wish him a good day at work, and tell him you want to have lunch together. Go play basketball with your brother in the park, and then talk shit after. Help around the house for when your mom gets home she has one less chore to do. Appreciate your family, there something special. I love you fam, hope you guys enjoyed todays entry.
God bless.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Fear...
Ever wonder about how your life will be in 10 years, 5 years, 2 years, even next year. I mean some people have plans, other choose to just go with the flow and take life as it comes. I don't know, I mean I'm not scared of much but this is one topic that installs fear in me. I have faith in myself to get things done and to live a good life, and a successful one at that. But I gotta admit there are times where I just lay back and think. "What if I never become successful in anything, and am poor and broke and living on the street." I mean my life has always been a blessed one, a very blessed one at that. And even now since I graduated high school I been making my own money off my own hard work, and if soccer doesn't work out for me I have school practically paid for so I can always just get my degree and live a good life. I don't know maybe it's just me, maybe I'm weird in that sense. But damn it it's the truth. I know God knows I'm insecure at times about my self, a little self conscious, and fearful. But it's me, it's real. I sure act as if I don't have a care in the world and my life is the best. But that's just cause I have this other F word installed in me that pushes away this fear, it's called faith. This feeling of fear, and belief of faith constantly go at it. People have told me you don't need money to be successful, or to feel good about yourself but it sucks cause society has put in my head that we measure the success of a person by his net worth. In some cases I believe it in other cases I hate it, cause they're so many people in this world who do amazing things. For instance help feed the poor, make the earth a better place, go to Haiti and help out starving families who have no fault in a natural disaster such as an earthquake. Shit like that. I read something today that really hit me. I was on tmz.com, yeah go ahead act like you've never visited the website. Whatever I was on it, and read about how Mike "The Situation" famous Jersey Shore star, is set to make somewhere in the area of 5 million dollars next year. How? Well the show for one, his "abs workout" video, endorsements (whoever endorsed this clown obviously has no sense), appearances, and his autobiography...I mean seriously what is he going to write about for so many pages??? GTL? Gym, Tan, & Laundry for a couple hundred pages, it's pitiful. Then I scrolled down to see what people commented, and this one comment just stuck out to me as it would for anyone I'm sure. It said, "I was a US Soldier and fought for my country for 9 years and gave my life to it. Now I'm back in states and I only made $20,000 last year and am set to make even less this year. If this guy is making this much money in THIS country for being a douche, then I'm not proud to say I'm an american." I mean damn go back and read that again. The Situation, makes somewhere up to $5 million dollars for partying, being a weird shade of orange, and wearing Ed Hardy clothes. As for someone who risked there very own LIFE for 9 years dodging bullets for OUR freedom, makes somewhere around $20,000 dollars. I mean this is why I learned to not measure success anymore by our monetary worth. And this is why I'm choosing of giving up the fear I have about being successful and not living a "rich" life. Cause quite frankly society is fucked up, and has lost it's way. I refuse to lose my way, and my morals that were installed in me as young boy growing up. I won't forget my roots, and I won't be ashamed of what I become because I'm gonna be something great, regardless of what you say or think. I've been doubted for a large part of my life, and quite frankly keep on doubting me, you give me an added fire to succeed. And not for the purpose of succeeding and then throwing it in your face. I'll succeed and be quiet about it, and you'll hear about me one day. Whether I'm doing it as a professional soccer player, working a 9-5, I'm gonna make a change in this world. I'll make a difference. So fear I got two words for you fuck off, I got faith in myself to live a successful life, in whatever it is God has planned for me. That's all I ask for, God take my life into your hands and let your will be done. If soccer isn't what I'm gonna do that's fine, I promise you though that whatever I do in this life I'll give you credit and glory and I'll do it to the best of my ability. I'm gonna live a happy and successful life, so don't judge me based on shit I do now, and shit I will do in the future. This is me just being, and it's real. Get used to it. I ain't going no where. Dueces.
God Bless
God bless
God Bless
God bless
Aubrey Drake "Drizzyy" Graham
The man in the title of this entry is simply a lyrical genius. What I think makes him so great is, that he doesn't just sell records by rapping about money, cars, and hoes. He sells what's on his mind and what's in his heart. When you can do that and sell over a million copies of your first album, then damn you can realize you got some sort of talent. Think about it though for a second, I mean a lot of his tracks we can relate to like feelings for a girl, or moving to fast with a girl, or being deceived by a girl. I know I have but whatever. On top of being able to rap, and do the smooth softness that requires to do good R&B music, he acts also! He was a part of the Degrassi show for I believe one or two seasons. So this "kid" (in reality that's what he is although he is older than me) is a self made multi millionaire on his ability to act, and express feelings from the heart & mind to a piece of paper, or in his case a blackberry and then speak it with a genuine flow. Yeah a lot of people have that ability as well, but correct me if I'm wrong in saying that Drake has a style that's just rare. No one really compares to his humbleness and I guess sorta swag that he carries himself with you can say.
Nonetheless I'm just really excited about going to his concert on September 21st in Miami! This will be his first time performing in Miami so I expect him to do it big, and extravagantly. If you haven't got a ticket don't bother trying cause it's sold out! Drake is highly regarded as the next big thing, and pretty much has already lived up to it, now it's just a matter of staying at the top and doing what he does. So Drizzyyyy I'm ready for you to come to Miami and tear it up, I've seen the performance you did in Toronto and the energy you had gave me goosebumps, hope you do the same in MIA. No homo haha. Peace!
God Bless all.
Nonetheless I'm just really excited about going to his concert on September 21st in Miami! This will be his first time performing in Miami so I expect him to do it big, and extravagantly. If you haven't got a ticket don't bother trying cause it's sold out! Drake is highly regarded as the next big thing, and pretty much has already lived up to it, now it's just a matter of staying at the top and doing what he does. So Drizzyyyy I'm ready for you to come to Miami and tear it up, I've seen the performance you did in Toronto and the energy you had gave me goosebumps, hope you do the same in MIA. No homo haha. Peace!
God Bless all.
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