Friday, January 7, 2011

Defeated or Realization..

Damn..Thursday Jan 6th my first day of back to training. They took us basically to a mountainside very high up, alright soccer fields with one of the most beautiful overhead views of a beach I've ever seen. I wish I could've taken picture of it. Anyways I was off to my first training session with Barranquilla FC (2nd division team Junior is the owner of them as well) I don't know why they told me to train with them, but I'm willing to train wherever they tell me. Anyways it started out well some warming up, movement, stretching some short passes, long passes mixed up. Then we played a 90 minute match.......For the first time in my very short 18 month career I have never felt that I couldn't keep up. It finally caught up to me, the partying, the going out, the kicking it at home, even the I'd rather eat and workout then go to the park and run. I was physically incapable of lasting on the field, I couldn't run anymore I was burnt out, I seriously felt like I was going to pass out. After the training session they told me to be at el Estadio de Romelio at 6am for a scrimmage game I assume on Saturday. I was sort of just glad to have another chance, as I'm here on trial so after every training session my fate is brought to me by either inviting me to another training session or sending me home...

Anyways after the long bus ride, then taxi ride home. I finally fell into my room and just turned on the shower and sat on the floor with cold water falling at my back. I prayed, and even then it couldn't make me feel better...Like I said I just felt so defeated. I don't know if it maybe just hit me that I'm not going to make it as a professional, or is this a test from God saying if you REALLY want this show me, and truly dedicate yourself. Nonetheless I'm not just going to give up, I'm gonna try and until they send me home I will. I hope that day doesn't come but if it does, I will be heading back to school and enrolling in University to pursue my degree and take over the family business. BUT until that day I will continue to strive for what I want. I have faith things will turn out the way God has planned for them to. I don't think this was all accidental or any of that. I trust in God and He says in the bible before you are promoted, I must see how you handle adversity and failure. I know I've talked about this in the past, so I guess I have to push through this again.


I've always said this blog is my life, not my success, not my failure, it's life. It's real it is what it is. So yeah gotta hustle, gotta grind, Lord make your will mine. I'm out everyone stay up & keep pushing forward 2011 BIG year were only one week in, 358 days left to make it a productive one get to it!


God Bless..!

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