Sometimes you just have to laugh

So we're over mid way through the season here in Wichita and we're in the playoff race. Our next four games are very critical. We got to win I say 3 out of those next four to be in good shape for a playoff spot. So thats just the quick update on how things are over here in Wichita without too much being said. This past week was pretty crazy, I went to an invite only trial in Tampa, FL to try-out for the Tampa VSI Flames (USL). I was SO excited for as I'm always excited to be playing outdoor as oppose to playing indoor like I'm currently doing. I say it was crazy cause I had a game Friday night in Wichita against Rochester. A game we were "suppose" to win. Instead we lost pretty bad, it wasn't fun... So after losing that game Friday night I went home to rest ended up just staying up all night since I had to catch a flight at 5am Saturday. So on no sleep (not the smartest thing) I headed to the airport with my teammate who also was invited to this invite only trial in Tampa. Just got to my gate just as they were boarding (no surprise). So we got on the plane I caught a quick cat nap on the plane as we connected to Atlanta. From there hopped on our connecting flight to Tampa. Finally get to Tampa at about 11:30AM or so we had to be ready to train at 2pm. So we grabbed some power bars, & red bulls and headed to the fields. We complete our first day of training there, as for my self evaluation of how I did, I felt I did really well and stood out. Anyone who knows me, KNOWS that I'll be the first to critique myself so I was feeling real confident, plus friends of mine who were at the trial as well continued to compliment me, so everything was cool. I was suppose to stay at a friends house to avoid paying a hotel, luckily my teammate rented a hotel. Turns out my friend lives wayyyyy far away from where I needed to be so I couldn't get to his place. So I crash with my teammate he only asked for $20.00 for the hotel stay & gas. Thank God cause I really don't have money to be wasting like that, I don't make enough. Yeah, people have this assumption because I have nice things I have money. Let me clear that up real quick, I've been blessed with parents who want to give me all they can, I have a brother who doesn't hesitate to give me something if I need it and if I like something he almost always offers to buy it for me. Thank God for family huh? Also I used to make good money in my earlier contracts and is the reason I have other nice annemities I guess you can say. Okay back to what I was saying so I crash at the hotel with him for the night we pass out like at 9pm absolutely exhausted. Next day wake up at 7am and go out for our last day of training. Again I feel I have a great day of playing. At the end of the day I see the coach spoke with a few players one on one, he didn't speak to me. Instead I was spoken to with about 25 other players and we were told we'd be receiving emails in the coming days. I've been around long enough to know that means, they not interested in you. In the coming days I'd get an email we'll cross that later though. So after that my friend and I go chill out for a bit, then we head to the airport he has a flight at 7pm Sunday. My dumb self booked a flight to Chicago Monday morning to meet with the team that day and play a game at 3:30pm. Now remember my friend lived too far, and now my teammate was leaving the city so theres no hotel for me to stay at. I had enough money to get a hotel, but I don't have money + cab to be wasting like that. Sure, I could've called my mom, dad, or brother and said "Hey I have no where to stay, can you guys transfer me some money for a cab, food, and hotel please." I have ZERO doubt they would've snap sent me money, but as much as I have that luxury I hate using it. I'm not the type to leech off my family, they do SO MUCH for me as it is I feel like a burden to them sometimes. Not because they make me feel like that, but just how I feel about it. So I decide I'll sleep at the airport even though my flight didn't leave for about another 16 hours or so. So I lie down on the floor next to an outlet to have my phone charged and rest my head on my traveling bag. As I laid there knowing I failed another trial, not much money to my name, my indoor season not going as I envisioned. I thought damn I should probably be a little depressed, instead I took the latter. As I laid there I kinda just laughed at life. When you can laugh at life, it's truly a euphoric feeling. I laughed at my situation, and just thought hey its okay. You're doing what YOU want, you're chasing YOUR dreams, YOU get PAID to play what you LOVE. Not many people can say that, sure I don't live the best life. Can I live better in Miami with my family? For sure, but I could never comprehend if you have a CHANCE no matter how small it is, to chase your dream why not take that chance? So I continue to, regardless of ALL my failed attempts. Really, like I continue to fall, but I have such an AMAZING support system it keeps me going. I really just want to make it, to be happy but more importantly to give back EVERYTHING AND MORE to my family who's done everything possible for me. So after sleeping and waking up for 16 hours and eating a bagel and a Starbucks frap I finally board my plane to Detroit, from there get my connection flight to Chicago. When I get to Chicago I reach into my wallet and see I have about $75.00 I'm trying to savor every dollar I can. The team can't pick me up from the airport since they all traveled in a coach bus. So I head over to the taxi area and ask how much it costs to get to the hotel where the team was. The cab tells me it'll cost about $65.00....Again I kind of just laugh at the driver and say "Listen man I have $40.00 on me and about $2.00 in quarters could you just take me?" He sort of chuckles back and says yeah, that'll do. I finally got to the hotel, ate my teammates left overs from there dinner yesterday and a cold slice of pepperoni pizza. Again, I paused and laughed with two of my closest friends Kareem, and Edvin at our situation. They're pretty much in the same position I'm in right now at life. So we literally laugh at what I'm doing not showered all day, eating leftovers and a cold slice of pizza. Anyways from there we went to our game in Chicago, and it ended just like the whole weekend was not good. A bad loss to Chicago in a game that we really needed to win. After that hopped on a bus for a 12 hour ride back to Wichita. Finally got back to my house at about 8am Tuesday morning..... So that was a wrap up of my weekend, not the best one you can say. What I'm trying to get at with this post is that regardless of life throws at you be grateful, for your situation can ALWAYS be worse than what it is. And remember to laugh at life sometimes. It's not an easy thing to do, but enjoy life, remember the struggles, for when you do reach success life is gonna taste so much sweeter then. Cheers to your weekend being better than mine, and for the good coming weekends we're gonna have for the rest of the year. God is Good. God Bless

Friends

(A non proofread no edit post) Usually at the end of a phone conversation you click end on your cell phone. And thats the end of it. This conversation ended with just tossing the phone to the side and seeing the seconds increase as if the conversation were still going on. It's one of those where you don't want to hang up, but you feel hurt to where words would be just that, words. Usually words carry meaning, but sometimes you know when words coming without meaning or purpose. I decided to stay silent with so much to say. This is an immediate ramble post, and one speaking with emotion. I always felt the need to write off emotion as soon as possible because its the most truest thoughts being spilled out. Maybe sometimes a little over the top but nonetheless truth. How do you judge your friendships with people? Is it an X amount of time + Y amount of fun times = how good of a friend one is. Or is it X amount of conversations + Y amount of time they are there for you. Is it just the good vibe you get from them, the comfort, the easiness of being able to count on them. I'm thinking of how friendship is judged in my eyes. I judge mine on loyalty really, and by the amount of time the person has proved it. Obviously, naturally you must hang out with a person enough times for you guys to have that ease and comfort and knowing that the person is loyal. Do you have friends based on status? Could your best friend never be a drop out? Could your best friend never be a drug dealer? Does your best friend have to be a college grad? Does your best friend have to be exactly like you, or the opposite of you? I've had few best friends, the ones who have always been there are my blood. But along the days of my life, I've had people I consider my best friend, cause we clicked and I knew at the end of the day whatever I needed they would be there for me REGARDLESS of the situation. After trying to better my friend and not so much change him, but give him a future we have kinda distanced ourselves. Nothing really happened, and I think the loyalty is there which is something I respect more than anything. But I think we both realized we're headed different ways and he wasn't willing to come up, so I'd likely be falling if I didn't prioritize correctly. I've had other best friends who we became that over time, by being honest and real with one another about every situation. We want the best for one another and we got to telling each other so many like tight nit stories that nobody knows that we can literally trust one another with any piece of information. We also have common likes, and just click. No pressure or thinking of how one needs to act or something, its just all natural. Now what happens when lets say your best friend is of the opposite sex, and she gets in a relationship. You're known as the best friend, but from my observations doesn't it seem as if the best friend always falls way off. Like you guys used to be able to hang out no problem, but now theres jealousy theres constant questioning about your relationship with your best friend. And it seems as if coming down to it, you end up having to choose sides. Obviously the stronger more intimate feeling is with that person who you're with. But the other person has proved loyalty over time. What do you value more at this point? Ask yourself this as well, is your best friend going to be there for you when they get involved with someone else or they gonna cut you off. I'm all over the place in this post, but I don't plan on editing it. Cause I'm typing with almost no filter so I like this more. Now as your best friend, I will always want whats best for you, sometimes it may come off as hating. Honestly, I want what I feel is best for you, and will make you a better person. If I come to realize that I'm dragging you down because I'm not doing things right, then the ball is in your court do you choose to wait and try and lift me up with you? Or do you say you've only become a carry-on baggage that I no longer wanna carry. Now my problem with best friends and then one getting into a relationship, is don't get into a relationship with X person until they've seen and understand your relationship with me! That way when you do get in a relationship, that person knows how it is, there is no doubt and theres a level of respect. Cause of the loyalty you've proven over time, or occasions or whatever. ……I feel I may be the best and worse person to be loyal too. I will be there for you regardless and my loyalty will never be in question if you've proven yours to me. But by the same token sometimes ones loyalty is so much, its taken for granted. I sometimes give off an "I don't care vibe" just because I know that persons loyalty will be there at the end of the day. This is a flaw of mine, I wish I could change it. But at least I take recognition that I guess I'm an asshole. I say that because its really a fu**ed up trait to have. My loyalty won't be questioned, I would hate to break ones trust, or anything like that. But like I said, sometimes peoples loyalty is so strong that I don't take other times seriously. I think I'm done with the friendship part. I kind of want to get into something else real quick. When you're known for a certain act or thing, and it comes with who you are. Giving up that side of you is almost like an addictive drug. Cause you're an authentic person, you're a REAL person. So you feel like as if you can't change, cause if you do everyone will look at you differently now. And that thought scares you, that thought that people see you through a new lens thats unfamiliar to what you're accustomed to scares you. I'm done. Thanks for reading.

2012 Quick Wrap

What did I accomplish in 2012? I feel almost withered and non willing to write this new year post because 2012 was just simply put not good. I had some crazy life experiences, and some cool stories I can write about and tell you about for days. But what did I ACCOMPLISH, what did I LEARN???? It sucks when you read that and think "I didn't get much accomplished in 2012". What did I learn? I learned a lot about myself in 2012 and a lot of it gives me comfort, but more of it scares the shi* out of me. One good thing I learned was how much I truly value time spent with my family, and how much they REALLY mean to me. I learned some not so pleasant things about me, and its gross to look at. I don't feel as if I change that completely either which is the worst part, but I do feel like I can alter it defend myself against it at least into some slight moderation. I skimmed through my blog to see if I had a new years post but it seems my first blog post wasn't written till March in 2012. Sucks cause I didn't really set goals. My goals this year are small, they are small in the sense of what they are and small in the sense of a time frame. I figure if I work out on the little things the big things can come together but I must take it step by step, brick by brick. My goals for 2013. - Complete the Insanity DVD. (60 days) - Complete my diet regime of eating 4-6 meals a day. (60 days) - Workout 2-5x a week in moderation, because of training and insanity. (60 days) - Dedicate more time to a balanced lifestyle that includes God rather than social activities. - Stop wasting time/energy in social activities that aren't truly of interest. - Save money. Those are my goals for this year up to now. For those wanting to know how my second professional indoor soccer season is going, it's going not as good as I thought. I want to be playing more, I want to showcase my abilities more. But I hear a good motivation quote from ET not gonna put it in quotes cause its not accurate word for word. But it went something like, when you want something that bad, you not even worried about the games you spend more time working on practice and perfecting your craft then ever playing games. Greatness. It hit me good, cause I just took a different approach to training, somedays I'll admit I be upset usually after a game of not playing and my training day is weak, cause I'm annoyed. But most days I be out there running hard, getting in, and you'll get jokes like why you working so hard you ain't gonna play and its friendly banter. But I don't care so much for playing now, cause I'm working hard for me, for my future, for whats to come, for what GOD got coming for me. So don't worry about whether you playing now or not, keep grinding if its something you really want. So in short without to much detail the Wichita Wings season isn't going ideal for me, I'll continue to work and continue to be so grateful for the love I get from fans, friends, and everyone. Telling me to keep pushing, they'll notice you need to be out there soon enough. All throughout adversity you must respect your superiors. The decisions they make, what they ask of you, what they feel you should do. Respect, grind and keep working. Ima keep doing it and pushing it and I hope to see a reward soon. God is good all the time. But you must not quit when times get hard, even if you feel disrespected or you feel its unfair, however you feel you need to realize thats only gonna prolong you improving. You need to get over it, and continue pressing towards your goal. X amount of a hard work rate over a Y period of time = SUCCESS. BELIEVE THAT!!! I'm done with this blog hope your holidays and new years were wonderful. I promise to come out with a more detailed post soon! This was not proofread or edited, so enjoy the grammar mistakes!! God Bless!!!

Off to Wichita!

Well Miami is done! I'm flying out tomorrow morning back to Wichita, Kansas for my sophomore season with the Wichita Wings! I'm excited for this upcoming season, while in Miami I had a ton of fun I'm ready to play soccer all day & night. I have a "plan" for myself in Kansas, I always make plans because a goal or dream without a plan is just a wish. Now, do I always stick to my plans? History says I don't....I will hopefully try to and be able to accomplish the goals I have set ahead of myself. Some of the exciting things happening in Kansas this season is, I plan on coaching a local youth team. I recently got my coaching license, and it's a good HEALTHY way to stay distracted. I also shipped my car up there so I will be able to drive around this time and be more independent. The most exciting part probably though will be living with my teammate Edvin. We go back to playing together in Jacksonville, and last season in Kansas to now being roommates it'll definitely be interesting to say the least. Most of you probably want to know what happened while I was in Miami, basically worked for my father, played soccer when I could, went to the gym, and enjoyed the weekends. I lacked a lot of sleep this time around but did a lot more. No details this time around!! I did turn 22 while I was in Miami so that was like the biggest event that happened, along with my cousin having her first child Alexander "The Great"!! Anyways I PROMISE a more detailed post after some time in Wichita, after all with all the cold weather up there I'll be indoors much more and I'm sure I'll blog. I hope to stable my relationship with God as its an everlasting fight, Susan if you're reading this keep sending those verses through text message they brighten my day every time I read them. Thx you all for the support as always and love or hate. Whether you disapprove, approve, dislike or like thank you! I take the good with the bad always, and will always look for the positives in life. God Bless!!

Thanks to you.

Want to just thank all my readers for the support through the good and bad. I didn't open all the way up but I did open up to you guys to a certain extent. The support I got for yesterdays posts were awesome. I'm pretty happy I decided to post and not be selfish. I will continue to post as eventful things continue to happen. Just wanted to thank all you guys. Had over 150 reads yesterday alone, and the messages I got regarding the post made me realize I speak to more people than I thought. Till the next one.... God Bless

ATL-MIA-SPAIN-MIA-SPAIN

Edit: Mixed all my previous blog posts and made just one big one. A full complete update, enjoy! An update…Better late than ne…so cliche, never mind. Anyways last you guys heard about me I was on a plane on my way to Miami after failing to land a spot on the Atlanta Silverbacks NASL squad. When I got to Miami apparently my dad spoke about me to a friend of his who had a connect in Spain and told him that they could have me trial over there if I wanted too after seeing my resume. I would have to pay the flight though. I was thinking of not going, figuring if I didn't make the Atlanta team how would I make it to 2nd division club in Spain, but with my parents insisting that I go, and given this is my dream to play football overseas how could I say no? So I did what I do, leave Miami again, hop on a plane and continue to chase the dream. I came with a great mindset, my mindset was very much alike what you read in the last post about dreams. I was really close and connected with God and living strong and responsible. Just like I was in Atlanta as well. I thought I finally made that full conversion and let go of all things holding me back. Well in Spain I planned on staying a month, 2 weeks into training with the reserves squad and a few first team guys I was feeling great. The players & coaches had gotten a liking to me and things were going good. Then in the middle of a training session I feel a tear in my quad muscle, I finish through the rest of training (adrenaline) and then proceed to get a massage after training. While laying on the table the fisio of the team started to massage my quad when he felt the "gap" he tells me he's certain I have a tear. I'm in a lot of pain and he tells me he can't massage me he may make it worse. I was told to pass by later that day to get it checked out by the doctor. Sure enough we ran the tests and I had a tear in my muscle 3cm deep. It would leave me out at least two weeks, which was the rest of my trial period…..I decided you're only given a chance like this once, so I speak to the trainers, and manager and decide I will sit out a week and come back after that. So I do that, but when I came back I was definitely not at 100% I figured I had to suck it up and continue to push. Then my month of trial comes to an end semi-succesfully I guess. The manager and director speak to me and ask if I'd like to stay another month for them to have a better look at me. I oblige and say I'm starting to feel better with my muscle. The next session I decide to really push myself, I have a great session but feel in a lot pain again. I get checked out again by the doctors after training etc, they tell me I'm done. I ripped my muscle again, and to further play on it without proper rest could really affect me long term and that it wasn't worth it. I literally lay on the fisio table in tears bemoaning my bad luck & just so frustrated. I felt like I couldn't catch a break and was beginning to doubt myself. So I speak with the manager, and director again they tell me to get healed up and report for pre season, I feel lucky now and am so excited to get healed up and return. Miami, oh how I have this love hate relationship with you. I set up a 3x a week therapy sessions mixed with upper body work outs and rest/working for my dad. I needed to rehab for a month, after that I was cleared and ready to begin training and getting my body fit to return to Spain and hopefully land a contract! I would have a month to do so. I continue with the gym, but now I've added playing pick up games, some 5s a side, some 11s a side and training 2x a week with my "mentor" so to speak in Miami. I feel great and I'm doing well with some minor slip ups, of alcohol outings (nothing new), outings with girls (nothing new), and putting myself in situations where I think I'm allowed or better yet I deserve to be in, because of my hard work week. This takes me back to the dreams post, have you ever seen those YouTube videos of motivation and inspiration? Do you ever see partying, cell phone, girls, alcohol, in those videos? Na, you see sacrifice, dedication, willingness! But for whatever reason whenever I seem to gain any sort of small success I feel I deserve to do what I please. On the contrary when you have some success you need to prepare yourself even more for whats about to come! But na, I lie to myself and others with how I go about certain things. I give such great advice but can't seem to take my own. So anyways before I continue to get off topic, things continue to progress in that manner and before I head to Spain I take a weekend to go to Vegas to celebrate my brothers birthday. I won't even get into what happened in Vegas on here, but whatever we have a great time or whatever. But now it's time to leave to Spain, in my greatest natural form I pack less than 24 hours before my flight. At the airline a whole fiasco, this one I'm going to keep personal as well but a whole fiasco between my family pops off at the airport before I leave. Already in bad spirits and falling more out of touch with my relationship with God, and more into "my life" and doing it as I please. Anyways everything gets sorted out, I depart from my family with some strange, angry good-byes…I've never been good at this, but given what had just happened this made it one of my worst good-byes ever. About 14 hours later I'm finally back in the city of Valladolid and ready to get going. I rest for the weekend and get ready to report to training on Monday, for whatever reason I was in this "fuc* everyone" mode and was in thought process of like I'm here to play not make friends. I'm kinda embarrassed by my behavior that day in the dressing room. I basically walk in don't greet anybody unless they greet me, and tell the equipment manager where are my clothes? He says have you spoken to anybody about training today? And I responded yeah the director told me to report today. Which he snapped back well he's in Japan right now, so you can go have a word with the manager about training today. I stormed out, naturally embarrassed since I was confident I was about to train. I speak with the manager and we have a distasteful conversation that I won't care to repeat but now I was standing outside very frustrated, and angry. After speaking with someone in management I'm told to report to training on Thursday and to get there early to speak with the manager. That night I went home, and changed my thought process and began to humble myself. I did in my own way, but without prayer. It had been maybe a few weeks at this point where I hadn't really fell to my knees and prayed to God. I prayed to him, and gave him the occasional thank you but no serious interaction or relationship with him for quite some time. So thursday arrives, it's 830AM on the dot I arrive to the training grounds. Training doesn't begin till 930, there are no cars in the parking lot. I felt like I was waiting for my girlfriend to arrive after sending me a text saying "We need to talk" instead I just waiting for the manager. I was going to ask if I could be allowed to train and trial with them for the preseason as was prearrange. Me signing in Europe was HUGE cause my parents basically said they wouldn't support me no longer soccer wise after this. I waited for exactly 23 minutes what felt more like 2 hours, when the manager finally parks and I wait for him to get out of his car and walk to the door where I'm at. The conversation to make it short ended with me just asking to be evaluated honestly, that he knows I play left back and said we are kind of filled at that position to which I say just give me a chance to show you what I have to offer, if you don't like it it's fine if you do then good for both of us. Either way no hard feelings or anything I just want a chance, to which he said did you bring your running shoes? And I answered "Yes". He responded Go change and get ready. The first session dealt with a bus ride to the woods, where we ran this trail. After some stretching and warm up, we run 4 kilometers in 16 minutes, 5 minute break another 4 kilometers in 15 minutes followed by a 10 minute break then 7 sprints over a distance of 150 meters. My first day and I was gassed! I felt like all the running around Miami I did whether it was the gym, playing small sided, or beach soccer it paid off. Eric Thomas words kept playing in my head "When you wanna succeed as bad as you wanna breathe then you'll be successful!" I had that in my mind in the last 1/4 kilometer where my lungs were breathing heavyyyyyy I said to myself I'm gonna pass out before I stop running. I finished nicely at the top of my group. I was pretty satisfied with my performance, from there went home had lunch, a shake, rehydrated a bit and passed out till the next session later that day. I got out there and did well. It was an exciting first day. Fast forward now, two weeks later after my arrogance and unwillingness to pray or get my mind in a right state of mind I'm told my services wouldn't be needed. I get a call from a 3rd division team with a contract offer though, so not all is bad! The offer though is ridiculous and I must decline, and go back to a contract I'm already tied up with (happily I might add) the Wichita Wings. So where has my arrogance, and disrespect of myself gotten me? Not where I want to be. I feel like I suck at this thing we call life, I sound depressing I know but I'm not hear to write a fairy tale. I'm here telling you a story of my life, where maybe you can grab the good out of it and subtract the bad. It's currently August the 14th my flight back to Miami is the 21st. I have plan to "do things right" when I get back to Miami and prepare for pre-season in Wichita which I'm definitely excited about. I don't know how long before I fall off track with my plans, as I always seem to do. I'm beginning to lose confidence in myself and question how bad do I really want this "dream". It's all I know and it's all I'll ever chase, will I ever reach it to the success that I dream about though, I guess you the reader will have to stay tuned in to see. Keep chasing your dreams, and remember take the good from here. Miami on Tuesday and Wichita in two months from now…take care guys God Bless!!

Dreams...

This was written on 05/03/12 Sure, we all have dreams. We've always wanted to be the person that "made it" or be the person who was different in a good way of course. But a quote so simple yet so profound comes to mind when I think of dreams. "To get something you never had you have to be willing to do something you've never done." So sure, we respond with, "Well I never gave up fast food, so I'll start doing that". That makes the quoted statement true, so we expect a different result. I think the proper quote or what was meant by this was something more like "To achieve something you've never had, you must sacrifice what you value most." Sounds a little deeper, and it may even make you question what is then more valuable that "dream" or those things you know you have to give up but don't want to. When you talk about sacrificing things you value most, I'm talking about those afternoon days at a friends house, or those weekends with your friends, or that girlfriend consuming up so much of your time. I'm not one to say anything i have done this all backwards since I signed my first professional contract. But, I mean you constantly see people achieve dreams and defying odds and still manage to do it living recklessly. So you go on to figure you can do it as well. Or you say well they live that lifestyle five times a week, I'll do it twice a week and should still be able to achieve my dreams. When your thought process becomes as such, step back and revaluate how bad it is whatever it is you want to try to accomplish. I can't ever remember responding any different when asked growing up what I wanted to be, other than a professional soccer player. Today, I still say the same thing when people ask me. But now the follow up to that isn't what it used to be. It used to be, "Well you have to do good in school, be a good kid, and train very hard at every practice to achieve that." Now the follow up is "Oh yeah, you're 21 years old what have you done and/or what will you do to make that a reality." It can go into so much more detail like your sleep schedule, your training regime, your diet, drugs, alcohol, how much water do you drink a day, do you stretch every morning, the list goes on and on. People think training 7 days a week is enough to make it as a professional. It doesn't work like that, there are so many factors out of your control, you must do what you can in EVERY part of your life to be successful. I mean go back to when you were a kid and you said you had a dream of playing professional anything, if it was soccer you didn't say my dream was to play for the Ft. Lauderdale Strikers (no disrespect intended, I played there), but what I'm trying to say is when we dream we usually dream of playing in Barcelona, Madrid, Chelsea, Manchester, the biggest football clubs in the world. But we're not willing to give up a few things we grew up with, cause we weren't raised with the mentality of a professional since the chances of making it are so unrealistic. Michael Jordan I can't quote the exact of what he said but he said something like, On your way to the top you must be unreachable, too busy, and training to get there, but once you get there you must be able to be reached out too, spend time, and help while continue training. I remember me telling my mom one day, "Ma the first time I ever see Barcelona play at the Camp Nou I'll be playing against them." I have an unrealistic out of no where chance of possibly making that a reality, I'm aware of this. But to get spiritual here, listen it's apart of me and when God has a calling for your life and you do what He is asking of you, you'll bear fruit. For God didn't make any of us to live in lack of anything, He made us to live an abundance. Recently I've been praying and hearing God real close to my heart slowly tell me things I must give up. I won't lie He's asked me for a lot, something I'm even hesitant about because I'm human and think you know I can do it, or that I've done it before so I can handle it. Honestly, though it's been probably the most clear I've heard God in a really long time Him asking me for a lot of thing- well actually everything. I ask God everyday for the strength to be able to give up everything to Him and He be in control in my life so that I may live as a supernaturalist everyday, and in Gods presence and grace! It's so easy not too, and so hard to do so. But I'm really asking God for the strength to do so, and to be able do His will in my life correctly. God Bless