Today I turned 21 years old, more importantly thought it's my mothers birthday as well. I just had to thank God for all that He has done in my life and the things that are to come. I'm pretty I wouldn't say upset more disappointed with my self and behavior leading up to this weekend. Just gonna go through it real quick.
I planned on having a calm weekend, and instead of spending my birthday like the previous 20 years with friends, and going out having fun. I wanted to just be quiet and thankful for this year, to be where I am at and where I'm heading. My plan was to spend time with the Lord worshipping and giving Him the praise and glory for He is the one who blessed me to be able to live to my 21st year, and has allowed it.....Instead I found myself doing "the same old thang". Thursday I found myself after a soccer game heading to a club with a friend of mine which everyone proceeded to giving me drinks, bottles, and hugs lol...I woke up the next day with a lot of regret, apparently not enough. After a day of helping my father out at his business I got unfortunate news that my church cancelled their Friday service which led me to going to my brothers girlfriends 21st birthday dinner. I had no problem with this at all, in fact the food was great & I had an awesome time. The problem was after they wanted to go out clubbing, I wasn't in the mood really, but again I'm the kid who cancels on everyones plans for my own which usually consist of church things, and soccer and I did feel guilty to say no or just not go, it was her birthday. I had a fun time but again it led to drinking as the clock struck midnight and it was officially my birthday, upon leaving the club i had further regrets. Woke up today at around 11:30-12:00 which made me miss my morning prayer with the Lord, I also missed a prior engagement I had which was to be cleaning cars with friends from the church for a fundraiser, and with a headache....So in so many peoples eyes I've had an awesome birthday weekend filled with fun, and on my exterior I know that's what you conceive and see, but in reality I'm hurting on the inside and feel in a way pressured to not let those who are close to me down. They want to spend time with me on my birthday weekend and make it one that is memorable, and I'm fall for it, but I feel selfish if I were to say I just want to spend it in my room praising God. I don't wanna come off as selfish......
Tonight family & friends are coming over, then my brother plans to lead a group of about 10 of us to a club in south beach which again should be a fun time, but my heart won't be in it. I will enjoy the time I spend though with those closest to me. I'm blessed to have people who love, and care for me so much. I just wish they wouldn't see me wanting to spend time with God instead of going out with all of them as selfish. Oh well I guess today will be another night out, and hopefully I wake up early enough for Sunday church. Then my last week in Miami can be a little more calm thankfully.
October 7th & 8th I'm super excited I'm going to an event called CAP being held at the American Airlines Arena! It's a all day two day event that my church is hosting, and the group that i am going with has big expectancy to feel the supernatural presence of the Lord over our lives! I'm super excited for this especially with it's dates being a few days before I leave it's just set up perfect!
On a soccer note i've been playing pretty consistently two times a week over at the turf fields at KSP. I have a really terrible pain in my right knee that I feel could be from playing on the turf but oh well. I'm extremely excited to head off to Wichita, Kansas. And begin preseason with my team! God has blessed me in so many ways. Thank you Lord for this 21st birthday that I'm able to celebrate. I'm forever grateful. I praise you & give you thanks, here's to another year filled with abundance, success, and blessings. God is love!!
God Bless
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